Thread of Minor Irritances Which Don't Require Their Own Thread

[Paulio]

Currently MS Word is my greatest irritance. Is there anything more annoying than it resetting the language settings back to U.S. dictionary all the time? And why can't you deselect English (U.S.)? I'll tell it which language I want it to check thank you very much.

Also I would like to rail against businesses making us foot the costs for their expenses on the grounds it will help the environment. Doing this clearly makes them have lower costs and hence more profitable. They aren't doing it for the environment they can't believe their luck at this new wave of environmental conscientiousness.

[Christophe]

When you're thinking of a word, and it's on the tip of your tongue, and you know the general meaning and what your trying to say, but can't quite reach it skulking away at the back of your lexicon. No other word will satisfy you in this situation, no matter how synonomous it is.

National Rail's subtle but irritating fare increases. They don't go unnoticed, you bastards.

On a similar note; trains. This isn't really a minor irritant, but I just wanted to re-voice my annoyance and I feel enough has been said about the topic already.

The internet's inexplicable failings. For instance: at the moment I'm able to access the forum, but not my e-mails. I'm able to access facebook but not log in. And I'm able to go on bbc.co.uk, but not google. Clearly my internet is working, but selectively. Baffling.

More to come, I expect.

[Christophe]

Ooh, I've got one - when your mouse does that weird sticky thing where moving it about makes you scroll up and down the page rather than maneouvre the cursor.

Also; mouse pads on laptops. Scourge of the earth, they I are I tells ya.

[Paulio]

The fat woman who inevitably sits next to me and boxes me in on the tram as my stop is approaching.

[Tom]

the printers that inevitably dont work 20 minutes before my deadline

[Paulio]

I could write a book on the hate I have for my printer and the inevitability of it breaking down before deadlines.

[Christophe]

My printer is fucking mental. Whenever you switch it on, it growls for about 15 minutes before going "OK, ready now!" in printer-speak. And then when you try and print, it comes up with a wide variety of inventive ways to delay the process.

"Ooh, you've got 2 blue cartridges inserted!" it wails.
No I haven't.
"Oh, well, you've definately not got any paper!"
Yeah, I have. Lots.
"Oh, well I'm certain that black ink is running low!
Nope.
*PRINTS*

At first this annoyed me. Now I find it strangely endearing.

the printers that inevitably dont work 20 minutes before my deadline

On a similar note, when your internet won't work while you're trying to submit an essay electronically 10 minutes before the deadline.

[Paulio]

I say go the whole hog with the anthropomorphisation and give him a name like Hubert.

[Grainy]

or rudigger......or hortence........

[Paulio]

I like Hortence. I think it seems a fitting name for my mouse (computer).

[Christophe]

Question: what's the plural of the word 'mouse' (in computing terms)? This has been bothering me for some time.

[Tom]

i think its apparently mouse's. As a way to distinguish from mouse the computer and mice the rodent.

[Grainy]

MOUSE is an acronym, and is short for Manually-Operated User-Selection Equipment so technically MOUSE is already the plural (... Equipments?) Most people, however pluralise acronyms, and initials in general, by adding a small s, so it would be MOUSEs, which seems a bit silly. Mice is also wrong, as it doesn't stand for anything, but it does make more grammatical sense than calling them MOUSE or MOUSEs. (NB: If a MOUSE was so called because it looked like the animal, then mice would be correct, but that isn't the case, although small body, long tail, who knows...)

[Christophe]

I reckon they knew what they were doing. It sort of looks like a mouse, doesn't it? And people -- that is, the acronym-makers -- always do that. Psychologists appear to be particularly good at it. E.g. Calling a syndrome that makes people depressed in the winter time Seasonal Affective Disorder... See, if I had that, I'd resent that. My depression should not be some psychologists joke! Swines.

[Tom]

yes they do seem to be making light of what could be a marginally serious depression for some people.

[Paulio]

I've no idea what AIDS stands for but it sounds like quite a good thing if you don't know what it means. I think if it was renamed to CORPSE less people would get it.

[Tom]

yes.... i can see it now!

Dr:You have AIDS.
Patient: That's good right?
Dr: we have been having this problem recently so we have renamed it CORPSE. That way you'll know exactly what your dealing with.
Patient: ooooh if i had known that i would have been more careful.

[Disgraced]

I've just had to write an essay on Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome and why if you have it, as a mother, it is a good idea to breastfeed your child.

Plus, having it is nowhere near as bad as it used to be, there are so many treatments for it, not cures, but treatments where people can lead perfectly normal lives (apart from having to deal with the stigma attached to having AIDS of course)

[Christophe]

This could be a horribly ignorant reponse, but I thought it was generally inadvisable to even have a child if you had AIDS?

[Tom]

yes as the child would probably contract the disease as well. Unless she means that she has the child AND THEN contracts AIDS.

[Paulio]

To get back on topic.

Television presenters and radio 1 DJs. Listening to them tell me how amazing everything and everyone is on their programme is a form of torture for me. I constantly feel the need to slap them but I become frustrated by the intangibility.

[Christophe]

Surely you can't dislike all TV presenters? Although I'd agree with you on the whole about Radio 1 DJs, although I do quite like Colin Murray and Steve Lamacq.

Anyway, you should watch Charlie Brooker's Screen Wipe (as I think it was called on TV?) for the complete antithesis to the qualities you despise in TV presenters...

[Tom]

yeah didnt one episode focus on him being taught how to be a good presenter that resulted in him completely ignoring what he has been taught..

[Grainy]

Behold what I believe to be THE most irritating theme tune to a TV programme:

[Tom]

it is bad but at the same time what did you expect.... it is one of the worst US comedies to plague our shores.

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