The Church Of Google

Go down

The Church Of Google

Post  Paulio on Wed Apr 02, 2008 3:15 pm

The Church of Google:http://www.thechurchofgoogle.org/

I found this and now I don't know whether to be a Pastarfarian or a Googlist!

I think the the nine proofs they give for Google being a god are quite compelling.

PROOF #1

Google is the closest thing to an Omniscient (all-knowing) entity in existence, which can be scientifically verified. She indexes over 9.5 billion WebPages, which is more than any other search engine on the web today. Not only is Google the closest known entity to being Omniscient, but She also sorts through this vast amount of knowledge using Her patented PageRank technology, organizing said data and making it easily accessible to us mere mortals.

PROOF #2

Google is everywhere at once (Omnipresent). Google is virtually everywhere on earth at the same time. Billions of indexed WebPages hosted from every corner of the earth. With the proliferation of Wi-Fi networks, one will eventually be able to access Google from anywhere on earth, truly making Her an omnipresent entity.

PROOF #3

Google answers prayers. One can pray to Google by doing a search for whatever question or problem is plaguing them. As an example, you can quickly find information on alternative cancer treatments, ways to improve your health, new and innovative medical discoveries and generally anything that resembles a typical prayer. Ask Google and She will show you the way, but showing you is all She can do, for you must help yourself from that point on.

PROOF #4

Google is potentially immortal. She cannot be considered a physical being such as ourselves. Her Algorithms are spread out across many servers; if any of which were taken down or damaged, another would undoubtedly take its place. Google can theoretically last forever.

PROOF #5

Google is infinite. The Internet can theoretically grow forever, and Google will forever index its infinite growth.

PROOF #6

Google remembers all. Google caches WebPages regularly and stores them on its massive servers. In fact, by uploading your thoughts and opinions to the internet, you will forever live on in Google's cache, even after you die, in a sort of "Google Afterlife".

PROOF #7

Google can "do no evil" (Omnibenevolent). Part of Google's corporate philosophy is the belief that a company can make money without being evil.

PROOF #8

According to Google trends, the term "Google" is searched for more than the terms "God", "Jesus", "Allah", "Buddha", "Christianity", "Islam", "Buddhism" and "Judaism" combined.

God is thought to be an entity in which we mortals can turn to when in a time of need. Google clearly fulfils this to a much larger degree than traditional "gods"

Paulio
Admin
Admin

Posts : 179
Join date : 2008-01-22
Age : 30

View user profile http://amodicumofhate.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: The Church Of Google

Post  Tom on Sat Apr 05, 2008 8:08 am

i think that proof 7 is flawed...
they can do evil... for example saving people's cache so they can sell it to other corporations====evil.

_________________
Guybrush: If I gave you your arm back, what would you do with it?
Murray: I'd terrorize the South Seas! I'd torture the living! I'd demolish the... er... What I meant to say was, I'd use it to pet kittens.
Guybrush: Nope. You blew it.
Murray: Drat
avatar
Tom
Forum Slayer

Posts : 215
Join date : 2008-01-26
Location : Phoenix Court.

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: The Church Of Google

Post  Christophe on Sat Apr 05, 2008 1:22 pm

Yeah but I don't think Google actually do that... They seem to be one of the few internet mega-businesses with any ethical standards.

Anyway, isn't that only 8 proofs? And who the fuck googles google?!
avatar
Christophe
Admin
Admin

Posts : 186
Join date : 2008-01-31

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: The Church Of Google

Post  Grainy on Sat Apr 05, 2008 9:59 pm

I don't know what response this is going to receive...but I have...many times.

_________________
avatar
Grainy
Admin
Admin

Posts : 181
Join date : 2008-01-25
Age : 31
Location : Dronfield

View user profile http://www.grainystudios.com

Back to top Go down

Re: The Church Of Google

Post  Christophe on Mon Apr 07, 2008 3:16 am

Many times? Once, I'll grant you, but surely after that you'd have had your fill?
avatar
Christophe
Admin
Admin

Posts : 186
Join date : 2008-01-31

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: The Church Of Google

Post  Paulio on Mon Apr 07, 2008 4:07 am

I hate to use logic and make Grainy seem less silly but....

I think the reason Google is searched for so much is that a) its the default word in the mini browser search bar thing and b) a large portion of searches on search engines are for what are known as navigational queries i.e. you're looking for the home page of a web page that is known to you and when using the mini browser search bar things you might want to get to the google homepage for the extra settings e.g. images or advanced search before you enter your query. But I'm just guessing.

Also Google has impressed me with its ethics. Particularly this http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/4631924.stm.

Though its still hard to resist the knee jerk reaction of distrust to large corporations.

Paulio
Admin
Admin

Posts : 179
Join date : 2008-01-22
Age : 30

View user profile http://amodicumofhate.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: The Church Of Google

Post  Tom on Mon Apr 07, 2008 1:49 pm

lord knows i swear by that unreasonable knee jerk reaction.

_________________
Guybrush: If I gave you your arm back, what would you do with it?
Murray: I'd terrorize the South Seas! I'd torture the living! I'd demolish the... er... What I meant to say was, I'd use it to pet kittens.
Guybrush: Nope. You blew it.
Murray: Drat
avatar
Tom
Forum Slayer

Posts : 215
Join date : 2008-01-26
Location : Phoenix Court.

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: The Church Of Google

Post  Christophe on Wed Apr 09, 2008 2:14 pm

The only company I trust whatsoever is the wonderful, cuddly, righteous Innocent smoothies, who frankly, I would trust with my newborn child had I got one. The rest, I wouldn't trust with a penny.
avatar
Christophe
Admin
Admin

Posts : 186
Join date : 2008-01-31

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: The Church Of Google

Post  Paulio on Sat Apr 19, 2008 8:56 am

I'm perpetually scared they will turn evil. If they do I will lose all faith in people I don't know.

Paulio
Admin
Admin

Posts : 179
Join date : 2008-01-22
Age : 30

View user profile http://amodicumofhate.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: The Church Of Google

Post  Tom on Sat Apr 19, 2008 11:33 am

does this mean you have faith in people that you do know?

_________________
Guybrush: If I gave you your arm back, what would you do with it?
Murray: I'd terrorize the South Seas! I'd torture the living! I'd demolish the... er... What I meant to say was, I'd use it to pet kittens.
Guybrush: Nope. You blew it.
Murray: Drat
avatar
Tom
Forum Slayer

Posts : 215
Join date : 2008-01-26
Location : Phoenix Court.

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: The Church Of Google

Post  Paulio on Tue Apr 29, 2008 4:39 am

Yes, I have faith that you will always provide me with either the scorn or apathy.

Paulio
Admin
Admin

Posts : 179
Join date : 2008-01-22
Age : 30

View user profile http://amodicumofhate.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: The Church Of Google

Post  Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum