A Man Cuts Off, and Microwaves His Own Hand Because Bible Says!

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A Man Cuts Off, and Microwaves His Own Hand Because Bible Says!

Post  Grainy on Mon Mar 03, 2008 7:37 pm

I just found this article, I also found it quite fucked up, I know this thread is pointless, and will probably only have a few replies saying what a twat this guy is, but I reckon it's worth it.

http://www.badcyclopedia.com/man-cuts-off-microwaves-his-own-hand-because-bible-says-and-if-your-right-hand-causes-you-to-sin-cut-it-off-and-throw-it-away/

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Re: A Man Cuts Off, and Microwaves His Own Hand Because Bible Says!

Post  Christophe on Tue Mar 04, 2008 3:37 am

The book of Matthew also contains the passage: “And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.”

Right, so that explains the DIY amputation - but what's with the microwaving..?

Also, let's all hope that this comment is just taking the piss:
You guys do not understand.This man is a Warrior of the Light. He was engaged in a battle with demonic forces seeking to break through the Dimension Gate under the house he guarded. He has been waiting for Centuries. He should be awarded medals and honours for saving our galaxy.
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Re: A Man Cuts Off, and Microwaves His Own Hand Because Bible Says!

Post  Christophe on Tue Mar 04, 2008 3:39 am

Also, BadCyclopedia cites itself as "Your Bad News Central". Have they not seen the regular news?
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Re: A Man Cuts Off, and Microwaves His Own Hand Because Bible Says!

Post  Tom on Tue Mar 04, 2008 10:10 am

aye i thought that "Look North" had already had that strapline under copyright
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Re: A Man Cuts Off, and Microwaves His Own Hand Because Bible Says!

Post  Paulio on Thu Mar 06, 2008 1:04 am

That's possibly one of the best URLs I've ever seen. You have to admire the sheer gullibility of people who take bible literally. Especially those who go to university yet still claim dinosaurs and cavemen didn't exist and we've only been around a few thousand years. I feel you should be denied entry to university if you believe that. The arrogance of it all! They clearly know better than the worlds greatest scientists.

Also my favourite crazy bible story is how the angels made love with people to create giants.

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Re: A Man Cuts Off, and Microwaves His Own Hand Because Bible Says!

Post  Tom on Thu Mar 06, 2008 4:51 am

hmmmm i love how you criticise the arrogance of religious people sheer moments after claiming that people should be rejected from university because of their faith...
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Re: A Man Cuts Off, and Microwaves His Own Hand Because Bible Says!

Post  Paulio on Thu Mar 06, 2008 6:56 am

Haha yes but the difference is I recognise my arrogance and it is comparatively small compared to their claims.

To nit pick I didn't say religious people I said those who take the Bible literally and I'm not saying they shouldn't based on their faith but on their inability to recognise reality despite the masses of evidence. Surely the one institution where evidence based learning and facts are important is a university, yet their whole outlook on life is the very opposite to the paradigm of a university. You wouldn't hire a vet who thought animals were a waste of time. Why let them have the benefit of university if they don't even believe half the university's departments are proper subjects? E.g. physics, geology, geography, biology,history, archaeology and probably aspects of many others too. They demonstrate an ability to choose at will what it suits them instead of critically looking at a situation.

So why not have a cost attached to denying the validity of huge chunks of the knowledge we've learnt, for no defensible reason? It seems harsh but that doesn't bother me. You have to get so many A-levels to get into university so basic understanding of where we came from isn't too much to ask is it?

I could be convinced that they can go to university in the hope through the experience they will realise their stupidity but I feel there should be some system for smacking common sense into these people. Possibly by making them attend rational thinking classes in the hope the blindingly obvious becomes apparent to them.

Still if there weren't crazy people no one would chop their hand off and put it in a microwave thus denying us of amusement.

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Re: A Man Cuts Off, and Microwaves His Own Hand Because Bible Says!

Post  Christophe on Sat Mar 08, 2008 12:17 pm

Paulio wrote:Surely the one institution where evidence based learning and facts are important is a university

Not in my degree, they're not. So perhaps in the University of Paul religious people should just be restricted to BA's?
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Re: A Man Cuts Off, and Microwaves His Own Hand Because Bible Says!

Post  Grainy on Sat Mar 08, 2008 1:17 pm

Paul, how gutted would you be if God and everything that the bible says was true?

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Re: A Man Cuts Off, and Microwaves His Own Hand Because Bible Says!

Post  Christophe on Sun Mar 09, 2008 8:41 am

To be fair, so would I. I think it's safe to say we'd all be going to hell.
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Re: A Man Cuts Off, and Microwaves His Own Hand Because Bible Says!

Post  Tom on Sun Mar 09, 2008 10:51 am

hey speak for yourself... i have never claimed that he didnt exist... i also have never claimed that he existed, but hell is reserved for the none believers not for those who are indifferent to the entire situation.
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Re: A Man Cuts Off, and Microwaves His Own Hand Because Bible Says!

Post  Paulio on Mon Mar 10, 2008 5:52 am

Christophe wrote:
Paulio wrote:Surely the one institution where evidence based learning and facts are important is a university

Not in my degree, they're not. So perhaps in the University of Paul religious people should just be restricted to BA's?

Surely you have to backup what you are saying? What about a BA in history for example. Surely you can't just make up history as you go along? Evidence and qualification of what your saying has to take place. And once again I didn't say religious people. I said those who take the Bible literally. There's a wide range of irrationality in religion ranging from young Earth scientists to wishy washy christians who go to church only at christmas.

Grainy wrote:Paul, how gutted would you be if God and everything that the bible says was true?

Considering all the contradictions and ignorance of how the world works that would be pretty much impossible. And if there is a god then surely its his own fault for making his existence appear so incredibly implausible and not supplying any evidence for it. Though if there was a god it wouldn't make much difference because I wouldn't last long in heaven anyway. Can you imagine how horrible it would be to have to be constantly good for all eternity? Both painful and psychologically damaging I would imagine. I wouldn't even want there to be a god. No after life is worth that.

Tom wrote:hey speak for yourself... i have never claimed that he didnt exist... i also have never claimed that he existed, but hell is reserved for the none believers not for those who are indifferent to the entire situation.

You've got no chance my friend. There's no way a god that petty and immoral is going to let you off just because you haven't explicitly stated you don't believe in him. Plus I'm pretty sure it says somewhere something bad happens to you if you know about god but do nothing.

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Re: A Man Cuts Off, and Microwaves His Own Hand Because Bible Says!

Post  Grainy on Mon Mar 10, 2008 9:21 am

I've just realised....does Satan actually work for God?

Because surely if they are sworn enemies, like it is widely reported, wouldn't Satan be reward people who have done wrong against God, and they wouldn't be treated like they apparently are down there?

So in conclusion, Satan and God are best friends and play a game of cribbage every Saturday afternoon.

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Re: A Man Cuts Off, and Microwaves His Own Hand Because Bible Says!

Post  Christophe on Wed Mar 12, 2008 1:19 pm

Paulio wrote:
Christophe wrote:
Paulio wrote:Surely the one institution where evidence based learning and facts are important is a university

Not in my degree, they're not. So perhaps in the University of Paul religious people should just be restricted to BA's?

Surely you have to backup what you are saying? What about a BA in history for example. Surely you can't just make up history as you go along? Evidence and qualification of what your saying has to take place. .

Yes but in my degree (i.e. English and Philosophy, not History) the evidence and qualification is generally textual (at least in English, anyway) and thus, not facts. So perhaps they should be allowed to do certain BA's -- although believe me, religious people don't do Philosophy, as it generally involves rationalising your views and beliefs based on logical deductions rather than starry-eyed fancies.

And believe me Tom - if the Bible were to turn out truthful, you'd definately be going to Hell. I read an article recently about a guy to tried to live an entire year of his life taking the Bible fully literally - amongst other things, he wasn't allowed to shave, talk to 'sinners', use contraception or...(wait for it)... touch anything that has been recently touched by a menstruating woman.
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Re: A Man Cuts Off, and Microwaves His Own Hand Because Bible Says!

Post  Tom on Wed Mar 12, 2008 1:27 pm

i am sure God wouldn't condemn people for God for simply knowing of his existence and doing nothing.

God condemns all. Right now, somewhere, someone has mild indigestion, and you are doing nothing - NOTHING! - to help ease their discomfort.

Shame on you.
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Re: A Man Cuts Off, and Microwaves His Own Hand Because Bible Says!

Post  Tom on Wed Mar 12, 2008 1:31 pm

Grainy wrote:I've just realised....does Satan actually work for God?

Because surely if they are sworn enemies, like it is widely reported, wouldn't Satan be reward people who have done wrong against God, and they wouldn't be treated like they apparently are down there?

So in conclusion, Satan and God are best friends and play a game of cribbage every Saturday afternoon.

Satan or Stan as i shall from this moment on refer to him as, doesn't work for God but he used to. He is a fallen Angel who challenged God and therefore refused to answerto him. As a punishment he was given a grotesque appearance as was all his disciples who became lower demons. Demons are also fallen angels.

As a a further punishment he sent Stan under into the fiery depths of hell with fire and brimstone cursed to torture and maim fellow murderers, rapists and none believers.

The bible is happy stuff.
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Re: A Man Cuts Off, and Microwaves His Own Hand Because Bible Says!

Post  Christophe on Wed Mar 12, 2008 1:34 pm

Tom wrote: As a a further punishment he sent Stan under into the fiery depths of hell

Oh no! Not poor Stan!
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Re: A Man Cuts Off, and Microwaves His Own Hand Because Bible Says!

Post  Tom on Wed Mar 12, 2008 1:41 pm

i know how dare they burn Stan. Frankly i think we should protest for his immediate removal from hell.
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Re: A Man Cuts Off, and Microwaves His Own Hand Because Bible Says!

Post  Paulio on Wed Mar 12, 2008 1:50 pm

Not Stan!



i am sure God wouldn't condemn people for God for simply knowing of his existence and doing nothing. For fucks sake he arguably created life so why on earth would he need people to pander to his ego.

This I feel would be a good attitude for religious people to have. No need for religion then. However I'm not sure where you get the impression that god is a nice omnipotent being.

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Re: A Man Cuts Off, and Microwaves His Own Hand Because Bible Says!

Post  Tom on Wed Mar 12, 2008 5:10 pm

i have been playing on Monkey island today. Stan = 2nd best character ever to grace gaming world.
Murray= The best.

Anyhoo i never said he was nice. Lets say i had created the world. I dont think i would see it as neccessary for my subjects to repeatedly tell me how wonderful i am. Actually after a while it would probably disturb me.
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Re: A Man Cuts Off, and Microwaves His Own Hand Because Bible Says!

Post  Grainy on Wed Mar 12, 2008 5:28 pm

Ahhh Monkey Island, what a classic, I really need to buy that next time I'm out and about.

I think I called Satan, Stan, about 95% of the time I typed it, I'm so much happier now we have decided to stick with the typo.

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Re: A Man Cuts Off, and Microwaves His Own Hand Because Bible Says!

Post  Tom on Wed Mar 12, 2008 5:36 pm

Satan = Stan
ah the first in what i hope to be many amodicumofhateisms
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Re: A Man Cuts Off, and Microwaves His Own Hand Because Bible Says!

Post  Christophe on Wed Mar 12, 2008 6:05 pm

Tom wrote:
i am sure God wouldn't condemn people for God for simply knowing of his existence and doing nothing.

God condemns all. Right now, somewhere, someone has mild indigestion, and you are doing nothing - NOTHING! - to help ease their discomfort.

Shame on you.

If we look here, at Tom's post, we will see that I have inadvertently edited Tom's post where I mean to quote it. I'm truly sorry. We can only speculate as to what his original words were....
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Re: A Man Cuts Off, and Microwaves His Own Hand Because Bible Says!

Post  Paulio on Mon Mar 17, 2008 5:28 am

Christophe wrote:If we look here, at Tom's post, we will see that I have inadvertently edited Tom's post where I mean to quote it. I'm truly sorry. We can only speculate as to what his original words were....

I was painfully confused by this.

Tom wrote:i have been playing on Monkey island today. Stan = 2nd best character ever to grace gaming world.
Murray= The best.

Anyhoo i never said he was nice. Lets say i had created the world. I dont think i would see it as neccessary for my subjects to repeatedly tell me how wonderful i am. Actually after a while it would probably disturb me.

Indeed Murray is truly great. I await with great anticipation the day of Monkey Island 5's arrival. Though it will possibly disappointing since all the people who made those games have gone on to other things at different companies e.g. Psychonauts, Deathspank (this game sounds intruiging to me), Telltale Games (E.g. Sam and Max).

I took it that you were implying god was nice since you thought he would be understanding which is generally a trait of a nice person. However if you fancy at go at being God maybe they have elections?

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Re: A Man Cuts Off, and Microwaves His Own Hand Because Bible Says!

Post  Tom on Mon Mar 17, 2008 7:14 am

i would love a go at being God... And if God's way is democracy as many Americans claim then they should definitely have elections. Wow i could start a smear campaign against God.

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